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03 March 2013 @ 01:44 pm
so save me  
there aren't many things you think of.

first it's, am i really going to do this? am i really going to die? and you ask yourself that question. it's the same question you may find yourself trying to answer in bed, before you fall asleep, or on the rooftop, feet away from the edge. either in comfort or in distress, questions always pick at you.

who's going to miss you?

("don't go, i really like you.")

who's going to even care?

("goddammit, stop getting into trouble! i get so worried, don't you know - ")

no one will notice if you disappeared.

("sis! come here and play with me, i've been waiting for hours!")

and those who love you eventually leave. you turn around the pills in your hand and really, at the moment, you don't exactly feel anything. no remorse or consequence, no guilt or apprehension. there's no fear either. for a while, you've been only an empty shell, a husk of what was once a person. so it's okay. there's always a time when people leave, and it's time for you to leave too.

so you swallow, and lie down to go to sleep. this time, you know you won't wake up.
coffeeandyoucoffeeandyou on March 6th, 2013 11:45 am (UTC)
Again. The dark side of summerrainsonme ^^

by looking at your name, does it suppose to be a beautifull (day)? Y'know summer, rain, and rainbow... ^⌣^
夏summerrainsonme on March 7th, 2013 01:05 am (UTC)
you know, you're the first one ever to understand what my username means. it seems all happy, doesn't it, cheerful - because it says "summer", like my name. but then it says that summer-rains-on-me, as in the season that makes us so happy and alive gives us rain, which is sorrowful and melancholy. so happiness also gives us sadness. but rain can also mean life - water is needed to survive, and so sadness helps us survive and understand happiness.

and then, after it rains in summer, the sun shines - because it is summer, and then you can see a rainbow. hope, at the end of the day. and i had almost forgotten that - i had become stuck in the rain. so thank you. ♥
coffeeandyoucoffeeandyou on March 7th, 2013 10:46 am (UTC)
Erm....yeah, I just think that your username is nice, and looks like you really have reasons why you choose that name too ^^
The meaning, the philosophy behind it, everything seems so in chime. Balance. So why don't you come over to your summer side if you feel too long been stuck in the rain? Idk, maybe the rainbow will never appears - but who cares? maybe the beautiful torture of rainy day to your heart is strangely mindblowing, but summer is great isn't? It's fun and bright. So why don't we play a little in it? ^^ Don't worry the rain won't go, the happiness and its agony will always there.

But, well yeah just forget it, I'm sorry, just simply thought of mine ^⌣^