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夏
31 December 2018 @ 07:32 pm
.yi  
fan fic and fan-related stuff at fic comm here;

this journal is semi-friend locked ( i think ) and contains original stuff + ramblings + author's notes. enter at your own caution.
 
 
夏
03 July 2014 @ 04:49 pm
hey, guys.

it's been a long time, I know that. there's a lot of things that had been going on in my life, and because of that, I've found myself going deeper and deeper into worse situations, unable to find my way out. I originally thought that I could do this alone - that I could continue living just as I am, that I would be able to get rid of this oppressive, depressing, anxiousness inside of me. But I can't. I really can't do it anymore.

I'm going to be in rehab for about three months, starting soon. I'm sorry for - for everything, I don't even know, but I need to do this. I need to learn how to be myself again before I lose it.

I love you all, the people whom I've made friends with and the people who have helped me throughout the years. I love you all. Honestly, I've been so tired and unmotivated, which is why I've been gone for so long. It's literally not you, it's me.

But I do love you all. All your friendship has given me strength, but it's about time I learned how to stand on my feet again.

Thank you. You won't hear for me until the end of September at the latest, but I'll try to update once in a while. I just - I need this. Thanks for understanding.

with love,
- summer l.
 
 
夏
22 June 2014 @ 11:09 pm
i slept and i woke and i slept and i woke. there is a notebook of words and scrawls on my bedside table. inside are post-its and ripped papers inked in to the last line.
Read more...Collapse )
 
 
夏
22 June 2014 @ 03:30 pm
my stomach feels like a cage of butterflies. the bars are made of iron and the spaces in between are glass. tiny insects made of paper thin orange and burnt sunset gold flutter against planes of clarity. my fingers shake against knives and whatever i eat gets lodged in my throat and i can't breathe in between silences. it's gotten worse, worse, worse, and the world sinks in on itself like i do in the middle of the night.

i can't hear the sound of your voice anymore. i'm stuck inside my mind with my own voices, demons singing out choir songs. they're connected to my nerve endings and the music thrums through my lymph nodes and blood cells. every pore is stretched open, because no matter how much i try to close myself up, i keep getting ripped back open.

it's three in the morning.

i want to go to sleep. the meds aren't working anymore.
 
 
music: how to be a heartbreaker - marina and the diamonds
 
 
夏
21 June 2014 @ 03:31 pm
maybe everything is worse than it seems, and maybe the first step is admitting you have a problem.
 
 
 
夏
09 March 2013 @ 08:42 pm
它是夜晚的在她之後
之前的黎明辦法

睡在一條河的不確定性
晚上唱歌的沉默

未知的夢想出沒
看不見的我們屬於

輕輕地唱著歌,靜靜地,向下
夏天的旋律響了。

/

it is in her wake of night
before the dawn approaches

sleep in a river of uncertainty
singing in the evening silence

unknown, dreams haunt
unseen, we fall

singing softly, quietly, down,
a summer melody rings.
 
 
夏
03 March 2013 @ 01:44 pm
there aren't many things you think of.

first it's, am i really going to do this? am i really going to die? and you ask yourself that question. it's the same question you may find yourself trying to answer in bed, before you fall asleep, or on the rooftop, feet away from the edge. either in comfort or in distress, questions always pick at you.

who's going to miss you?

("don't go, i really like you.")

who's going to even care?

("goddammit, stop getting into trouble! i get so worried, don't you know - ")

no one will notice if you disappeared.

("sis! come here and play with me, i've been waiting for hours!")


and those who love you eventually leave. you turn around the pills in your hand and really, at the moment, you don't exactly feel anything. no remorse or consequence, no guilt or apprehension. there's no fear either. for a while, you've been only an empty shell, a husk of what was once a person. so it's okay. there's always a time when people leave, and it's time for you to leave too.

so you swallow, and lie down to go to sleep. this time, you know you won't wake up.
 
 
夏
21 January 2013 @ 01:46 pm
the title is even the stars, they burn (some even fall to the earth) l o l i just - i need better titles i'm sorry

so here is my collective notes in a coffee-induced rush at maybe eleven at night to eight in the morning as i slaved through this oneshot? it's the next day (night? 2:30 and no sleep yay) and i am more prepared. so here we go.

tokyo, london, new york, paris, oppa plsCollapse )
 
 
夏
18 January 2013 @ 11:28 pm

based off sfs and plaid.

comment if taking. thank you. ♥

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