Log in

31 December 2018 @ 07:32 pm
fan fic and fan-related stuff at fic comm here;

this journal is semi-friend locked ( i think ) and contains original stuff + ramblings + author's notes. enter at your own caution.
22 June 2014 @ 11:09 pm
i slept and i woke and i slept and i woke. there is a notebook of words and scrawls on my bedside table. inside are post-its and ripped papers inked in to the last line.
Read more...Collapse )
22 June 2014 @ 03:30 pm
my stomach feels like a cage of butterflies. the bars are made of iron and the spaces in between are glass. tiny insects made of paper thin orange and burnt sunset gold flutter against planes of clarity. my fingers shake against knives and whatever i eat gets lodged in my throat and i can't breathe in between silences. it's gotten worse, worse, worse, and the world sinks in on itself like i do in the middle of the night.

i can't hear the sound of your voice anymore. i'm stuck inside my mind with my own voices, demons singing out choir songs. they're connected to my nerve endings and the music thrums through my lymph nodes and blood cells. every pore is stretched open, because no matter how much i try to close myself up, i keep getting ripped back open.

it's three in the morning.

i want to go to sleep. the meds aren't working anymore.
music: how to be a heartbreaker - marina and the diamonds
21 June 2014 @ 03:31 pm
maybe everything is worse than it seems, and maybe the first step is admitting you have a problem.
09 March 2013 @ 08:42 pm





it is in her wake of night
before the dawn approaches

sleep in a river of uncertainty
singing in the evening silence

unknown, dreams haunt
unseen, we fall

singing softly, quietly, down,
a summer melody rings.
03 March 2013 @ 01:44 pm
there aren't many things you think of.

first it's, am i really going to do this? am i really going to die? and you ask yourself that question. it's the same question you may find yourself trying to answer in bed, before you fall asleep, or on the rooftop, feet away from the edge. either in comfort or in distress, questions always pick at you.

who's going to miss you?

("don't go, i really like you.")

who's going to even care?

("goddammit, stop getting into trouble! i get so worried, don't you know - ")

no one will notice if you disappeared.

("sis! come here and play with me, i've been waiting for hours!")

and those who love you eventually leave. you turn around the pills in your hand and really, at the moment, you don't exactly feel anything. no remorse or consequence, no guilt or apprehension. there's no fear either. for a while, you've been only an empty shell, a husk of what was once a person. so it's okay. there's always a time when people leave, and it's time for you to leave too.

so you swallow, and lie down to go to sleep. this time, you know you won't wake up.
21 January 2013 @ 01:46 pm
the title is even the stars, they burn (some even fall to the earth) l o l i just - i need better titles i'm sorry

so here is my collective notes in a coffee-induced rush at maybe eleven at night to eight in the morning as i slaved through this oneshot? it's the next day (night? 2:30 and no sleep yay) and i am more prepared. so here we go.

tokyo, london, new york, paris, oppa plsCollapse )
18 January 2013 @ 11:28 pm

based off sfs and plaid.

comment if taking. thank you. ♥




18 January 2013 @ 08:01 pm
nothing.Collapse )